


hearts and hands and hips

by blue_silence



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Soft Swan Queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 15:21:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10902054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_silence/pseuds/blue_silence
Summary: If there was on spot on her body that Emma Swan liked, it was the spot just above Regina's hip bone, right before it flattened into her stomach.





	hearts and hands and hips

**Author's Note:**

> Soft Swan Queen cuz Swan Queen belongs to us.
> 
> Also, this is a little old… like pre-season 5, pre Zelena being good and pre Regina and Snow being besties. 
> 
> italics are in the past and the non-italics are present.

If there was on spot on her body that Emma Swan liked, Regina thought to herself, it was the spot just above her hip bone, right before it flattened into her stomach. The younger woman often stood next to her, talking to someone else, discussing whatever- and she would reach out and gently rest her hand on that spot. It felt very different from all the other touches Regina had received in her life. It lacked the proprietary feeling her mother and husband had brought with their fingers, and lacked the pain as well. It lacked the disregard of most of the other touches, or the demanding feel her paramours in the Enchanted Forest brought. Even now, standing in the entryway of her home, next to Emma, Regina felt those familiar fingers sliding up under the shirt she’d been talked into wearing-

_“… it’s not a bad choice, Regina, God knows how hot you look in those button downs, but it’s his birthday. I promised him I’d talk you into something a little less formal. Please, just think about it for a few minutes, Henry wants you to wear something that you won’t get mad about getting dirty- and with a slew of 15-year-olds coming over for his birthday, it makes sense.”_

_“Fine,” Regina replied with a sigh, unbuttoning her shirt, “He’s right, you’re both right-”_

_Emma slid up behind her, putting one hand on each hip, letting her fingers rest against Regina’s skin. Regina tried not to covet these moments too much, afraid if she wanted too much she’d ruin it, and now that she was (almost) used to how casually Emma touched- she’d be lost if she stopped._

_“Wear that blue one,” Regina pulled the shirt in question off the hanger, “I like that color on you, makes you look abso-fucking-lutely delicious.”_

-to rest on her hip. With Emma it felt more… reassuring. Emma didn’t even realize she was doing it most times, just reaching out with her hand, her fingers, checking to make sure Regina was still there; checking to make sure she was still allowed to touch her. Their relationship was a study in opposites, Emma was touch and warmth, Regina was distance and frost, Emma was loud and uncouth, Regina was quiet and mannered, Emma was blonde and bright and hot like the sun, Regina was dark like night time, and cool to touch. Maybe Emma was rubbing off on her more than she realized, Regina thought idly, sipping her wine, ‘dark like night time?’ even her mind sounded pretentious. They were two halves of the same coin.

_“You’re all… hope and bright eyes,” Regina spat at the younger woman, refusing to back away as Emma stalked towards her, “It’ll never work between us, Miss Swan, you should just go back to your parents-”_

_“Regina,” Emma’s voice was deeper than usual, and her eyes looked unusually dark, “I know all the reasons this won’t work, I also know all the reasons it will.”_

_“Miss Swan,” Regina finally bowed to the sense of fear that was skittering up and down her spine and stepped away from Emma, back towards the kitchen, “I can’t- you- I don’t want you to touch me.”_

_Emma paused, and cocked her head, thinking. “Look, all I want to do is touch you. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. But you felt what I did- there’s no way I’m giving that up, Regina. Even if I have to wait for years until you’re ready.”_

_And she’d held out one hand to Regina, extended her fingers to the older woman, and tempted Regina as she’d never been tempted in her life. Tempted her to give up her anger, and figure out a way to live without it. And it was more than just giving up her anger, it was finally having something tangible to replace it with. There were tears in Regina’s eyes, and she knew she wasn’t hiding the fear on her face very well. “Miss Swan, you deserve-”_

_Emma frowned at her and broke in painfully , “I deserve someone who understands what it’s like to not be wanted. I deserve someone who’ll understand what it’s like to be thrown away because ‘you’re not good enough’. I deserve someone who understands that sometimes you have to hold on to people because they won’t hold onto you.” Regina closed her eyes, turned away. This… thing between them… she wanted to hide it, let it go, wanted Emma to be happy with whichever idiot she picked. “Regina, I deserve someone who knows how to fight, who doesn’t just let go because of some prophecy, doesn’t let go because someone tells them to, someone who doesn’t just wear me to down so I’ll date him.”_

Emma stepped in close behind her, rested her chin on Regina’s shoulder and put one hand just above Regina’s hips- and let her warmth blend into Regina’s back, “I deserve to chose who I love, and who loves me, and how I let myself be happy. I deserve to be happy, and so do you.”

Regina had to laugh then, because it was laugh or cry and she’d just finished applying her mascara and running mascara wasn’t an option. “I can’t- You know- I don’t know how to love… very well.”

She could feel Emma’s chin moving as the younger woman nodded, “Then we’ll learn together. But, you didn’t do such a bad job with Henry, so there’s hope.”

And there was, finally, hope- for both of them. Regina no longer felt trapped by words like ‘fate’ and ‘destiny’ and ‘true love’ or ‘soul mate’. She no longer grasped Henry as though he were going to break, or disappear if he left her sight. And Emma, she’d confessed one night, long ago, over cider and a bruising make out session, could finally stop being everyone’s Saviour and just be ‘Emma’. They could live and love and learn how to exist next to each other, Emma could finally hold on to something and let her fingers tighten around them without fear of them letting go. Regina could finally learn to hold on to something and let her fingers tighten around them without the fear of letting them go. Emma laughed, and pulled Regina back to the present by running her thumb along her skin softly. And finally, finally, the man and his daughter walked into the other room to make their way outside where Snow and Charming were holding court with Henry (and Regina was surprisingly okay with Snow being in her house, her anger melting away month after month after month of Emma and Henry and [ok, Dr. Hopper helped a little too] love).

Regina turned to follow them, finishing her wine as she stepped away, only to be snagged by Emma’s fingers on her side. She put her glass down, and turned to face the blonde who was stepping towards her

_“Look, I’m sorry, can we talk about this?” Emma darted in front of her, and held her hands up placatingly, “I didn’t know-”_

_“Miss Swan,” Regina stepped around Emma and continued down the stairs, her heels clicking when she hit the polished wood of the entryway, “I didn’t mean to disturb your fun, there’s nothing to ‘know’. I merely wanted to check on Henry.”_

_“Bullshit,” Emma waited until Regina was fully in the little room and then closed it behind them and ran a hand through her hair, “That’s bullshit.”_

_She stuck one hand out and pointed at Regina, “I saw the look on your face, Regina, that wasn’t a ‘check on my son’ look. That was a ‘what’s happening, who do I have to kill?’ look.”_

_Regina poured herself a drink, her cider was delicious, “Would you like a drink, Miss Swan? As you know my cider is quite delicious.”_

_Emma shrugged her shoulders, and stepped up next to Regina, “Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, I was just tickling him, we were having a fun time.”_

_And suddenly Regina was so angry she couldn’t breathe, so angry she couldn’t see, and all she wanted was this woman to leave her alone with everything, “Miss Swan, if you can’t accept that I’m fine, maybe you should just leave.”_

_Emma stepped in closer, closer, forever closer to Regina, “You don’t always have to be ‘fine’, Regina. I’m pretty much living proof that even if you’re not ‘fine’ you can still be ok.”_

_“Miss Swan, I am a perfectly capable woman, I couldn’t discern from my office whether Henry was shrieking in pain or happiness, and I went upstairs to see.” Regina bit out slowly advancing on the younger woman, forcing her to retreat. “I was checking on my son, assuring myself that he was not in any danger.”_

_“That’s what you’re gonna go with, Regina?” Emma tried to catch her eye even as she backed into the wall. “Really? Our son was upstairs, with me, in your house and you were worried that he was in danger? You do know I’m the savior, right? I’m supposed to bring back his happy ending, not contribute to it’s loss. And I’ve seen that look, on someone else’s face, Regina, that was the look of fear.”_

_Regina turned away from Emma, and her voice was nearly frigid when she asked, “Why are you telling me this, Miss. Swan?”_

_Regina could hear the younger woman’s boots on the floor, the dull thud matching her heartbeat. She couldn’t help the tensing of her muscles when Emma’s hand touched her side, just above her hip. Regina bit her lip, hard enough to draw blood, just enough to distract her and let her relax her muscles, even as Emma spoke quietly._

_“I just, I get it ok?” Emma sounded so disgustingly earnest, “You don’t like tickling, you don’t like being touched-”_

_Regina turned around quickly, not liking where Emma was going with this line of thought but the younger woman didn’t stop talking. “I get it, Regina, you’ve made it this far, and look at how much you’ve done.”_

_Regina prepared a scathing remark, but it died on her tongue when Emma finally looked up into her eyes. Green and blue and sadness and fear and loneliness and mostly, understanding._

“Hey, thanks,” Emma murmured into her ear, even as she brought the older woman into her embrace, “I know this isn’t easy for you.”

It’s fine.” Regina replied stiffly, “If it makes you and Henry happy-”

"Ah, ah,” Emma pulled her slightly closer, and pushed one hand into her hair, gently encouraging Regina to unbend, and put her head on Emma’s shoulder, “Dr. Hopper said, ‘Ask for-”

“-what you need.” Regina sighed, and laid her head on Emma’s shoulder, “I should have squashed that bug when I had the chance.”

There was a stretching silence, and finally, Emma snickered, “Really, Regina?”

“Fine.” She grumbled, and Emma slid her other hand up under the back of her shirt, letting her hand rest midway between her hips and her shoulders. “Thank you, for planning this for Henry with your parents, and for-” she coughed lightly, and felt her face redden slightly, “ recognizing that it might be hard for me.”

Emma grinned, Regina could feel the movement next to her hair, and could hear it in her next words, “Might be?”

Regina closed her eyes, and let the Savior’s scent fill her nostrils. Then leaned slightly closer, and bit the skin under her ear, lightly, “Might. be.”

Emma’s hands tightened on Regina’s skin, her nails digging into her back ever so slightly, “That’s not fair, Regina, don’t start anything you can’t finish.”

Regina murmured into her ear, “Anything I start, Savior, I can finish.”

“Moms,” Henry stuck his head into the outdoor entrance, and wrinkled his face in a silent protest, “Ok, yuck, you two coming out?”

“Ask for what you need, ask for what you need.” Emma heard Regina muttering to herself before letting Emma go and turning in her arms to face Henry, “Just give me… five more minutes, Henry. I just need a moment to myself.”

“You okay, Mom?” Henry tilted his head, and Emma saw Regina in that second, “Ma, do you need help? I can-”

Regina and Emma shook their heads simultaneously, Regina with a bit more awe and Emma with a bit more consternation. She was fairly sure she could have talked Regina into going upstairs with her. “No, Henry.” Regina’s voice was a little rougher than normal, and she shook her head again, “No, I just need a little bit of space, your Ma is just helping me with my breathing exercises.”

“Ok, see you in five minutes.” His eyes were still worried, and his brow still wrinkled, “And Mom, thanks. For everything.”

“What am I, chopped liver?” Emma grumbled, just as Henry stuck his head back in, grinning. “And thanks Ma, for helping out.”

Regina leaned back into Emma, who dropped her head onto Regina’s shoulder and smiled, “Our kid is pretty cool. You did a good job, Your Majesty.”

_Regina closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip, worrying at it until her fear was too much. She made her way out of her office and up the stairs, tossing off her heels to make her way up unfettered. Just barely managing to not race down the hallway, if her steps were a little… hurried, well there was no one to notice. She wondered for a moment if Emma would be in their bedroom- her bedroom, she corrected herself fiercely- or in the guestroom, where most of Emma’s ‘stuff’ was. Hopefully not her bedroom, maybe packing up, getting ready to leave-_

_Regina opened her door hastily, “Emma, don’t leave, I’m-”_

_But Emma wasn’t packing to go, she wasn’t preparing to leave; she was laying on the bed, back to the door, slightly curled up, as though protecting her soft belly. “Emma-”_

_The younger woman rolled over, eyes sad and curious, “Regina you-”_

_“Just wait,” Regina held up a hand, the words were bubbling up from somewhere dark, and she needed them to see light before she got too scared and confused to speak. Because really, what kind of Queen is scared and confused? “I- I told you, I don’t love easily. And the truth is, I don’t love… ‘right’. I hold on too tight, or I refuse to hold on at all. Because- I mean look at it. Look at all the things that I’ve done, that I’ve loved. They’re all ruined.”_

_Emma sat up and gestured Regina to closer, and the brunette took one hesitant step towards the bed, “I’ve ruined them all, and they’ve gone away. I- I don’t want to ruin you.”_

_Emma laughed, still sad but curious, “Regina, I gotta tell you, you sure do know how to ruin the mood.”_

_Regina frowned at her, “I’m not used to people touching me. At least not… in a nice way. What Graham and I did… was preceded only by-”_

_She shuddered, and felt the darkness rising inside, bubbling up insistently, “Leopold.”_

_“I shouldn’t have asked that question,” Emma said quietly, and reached out and snagged Regina’s hip, wrapping her fingers around, “I should have waited for Dr. Hopper’s but, can you understand my view? According to my- Mary- Snow, I had a family. I have a family, but I had a family.”_

_Regina stepped toward her, a small step, and Emma’s answering smile felt like sunshine on her face, “I can- understand. But, what Snow saw and thought, and what I saw and thought and what we felt. Those are completely opposite to each other, and I deserve the chance to explain.”_

_Emma tugged her down to sit on the bed and curled her body around Regina, head in hand, and the other seeking skin under Regina’s jacket and blouse. Regina leaned to the side, and let her shirt ride up, Emma Swan had a thing for touching skin, and Regina didn’t mind it one bit. They sat in silence for a few long moments, just long enough for Regina to start feeling exposed, and for Emma to start worrying._

_“I’ve got it-” Emma flopped onto her back, and tugged Regina down next to her, “How about this?”_

_She wrapped her left hand around Regina’s right, and pulled it onto her stomach, “This is our safe place-”_

_“I wouldn’t hurt you.” Regina replied quickly, “We’ve talked about-”_

_“Not like that, Regina!” Emma rolled her eyes, and squeezed her hand, “I mean, we need to make sure this spot, this room, is our safe spot. Where we can be… just enough, for each other.”_

_Regina mulled it over, she liked the sound of ‘we’- there’s been so much ‘alone’. Emma understood that too because Emma had been alone for so long._

_“Am I?” Regina asked softly because she can’t help herself. “Am I really?”_

_Emma faced her, and answered, seriously, “As much as I am for you.”_

“We.” Regina corrected, bringing her hand up to cup Emma’s face. “We did a great job, Emma Swan.”

”Yeah, well,” Regina could feel Emma’s face turning red, and she smiled. Emma Swan might be the savior and might be cocky in so many ways, but complimenting her motherhood reduces her to a red-faced stammering mess everytime.

“Nope.” Regina turned her head and kissed Emma on the cheek, and then directed their gaze out the window to watch Henry playing happily with the rest of the Charming-Mills clan. “We, Emma, **we** did a good job.”


End file.
